Wednesday, July 25, 2007

On a lighter note ...

Ok. Unlike Mr. Burns , who I believe when he says he hates these things, I think they're kind of interesting. I'd like to say that I despise them, but anyone on my friends list over at Myspace knows I like the surveys. Here's one I happen to think is very cool. First, the rules (like Mr. Burns, I'm skipping the last two. Half the people who read this blog already did this):

Rule #1: Don't talk about Fight Club.
Rule #2: We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
Rule #3: Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
Rule #4 People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Rule #5 Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. When I was in elementary school, I used to get kicked out of class all the time for being bratty. Mostly my behavior involved talking back to teachers when I thought rules were stupid or because I'd finished my work way ahead of other students and the teachers didn't believe I was done. Most of my teachers wanted to test me for ADD so I could have some ritalin and my parents refused because they didn't believe in drugging their kids. I love them for that.

2. The scars of being made fun of in elementary school and jr. high still cause me self-esteem issues. If I'm in a room with a group of people my age and people lower their voices, I still sometimes think they're whispering mean things about me. At nearly 27, I've never had a boyfriend and can count on one hand the number of dates I've been on, in part because the fear of rejection is too strong to keep me from ever having the nerve to tell guys when I like them. It's very lonely. I worry constantly that I'll never find someone.

3. I was very mean to my brother as a kid. I pushed him around a lot and said mean things. I don't know why I did this, but there was a point at which he became very mean too. I think we're both to blame for how poorly we've gotten along, and he did some pretty crappy things when he was older, but he did not deserve to be treated meanly when he was very small. My only justification for this is that I must have been jealous to no longer be the only child, or that subconsciously I was angry that he wasn't a girl, but I really don't think I had a conscious reason for it.

4. Over the years, I've grown apart or lost contact with many people I at one point considered my best friends. I can explain some of the changes in friendship, but others baffle me. One in particular involves my biggest regret, but I'm not even sure if that event caused the rift because the person in question refuses to tell me why we're no longer friends.

5. As much as I enjoy traveling and talk about wanting to live abroad, this internship has caused me to realize how much I love Oregon. The thought of leaving it, or at least, living more than a day's drive from it, terrifies me. I think this is partly due to the fear of having to move somewhere where I don't know anyone and would have to make an entirely new group of friends.

6. Despite the fact that the previous 5 items make me sound dark and depressed, I'm really quite happy with my life right now. I've recently realized that all the shitty things that happened to me following getting my undergraduate degree (including the fact that I was dumb enough to not work my ass off in journalism as an undergrad), were necessary to lead me to this point in my life, where I'm sitting at my desk at a fabulous internship in Washington, D.C., writing this. Things sucked a lot at the time, but now, I'm working toward the career I'm supposed to have, having a lot of fun and making great friends in my grad program.

7. I'm scared of the dark.

8. On a much lighter note: I'll admit something rather embarrassing. I own, on CD, the New Kids On The Block's Greatest Hits. And I listen to it. And still know the words to all the songs.

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