Shamelessly stealing surveys

I stole this from Patrick , who got the questions from his friend. I don't know where she got them. I hope she came up with them on her own, because they're pretty great.

1. Your full name:

Jobetta Pauline Hedelman

2. What your Native American name would have been if you were in Dances With Wolves:

Watches TV with Cats

3. Your birthday:

Sept. 24

4. Name of a famous person who shares your birthday:

Jim Henson

5. What is the best thing you can do with your hands?

If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.

6. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone?

See answer to #5

7. What is an evil thing you’d like to do to someone (enemy, Tom Cruise, Accounting Dept., etc.)?

I'd like to take away all of a certain wealthy president's money, give him three little kids and force him to spend the rest of his life working two minimum-wage jobs only to find out he still can't afford health insurance for the kids and has to choose between buying food and paying the electric bill.

8. What is the stupidest movie you’ve ever seen?

Fantastic Four.

9. Have you ever cheated?

Not on anything important. But I'm sure I copied people's worksheets in middle school. Stupid busy work anyway.

10. Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope. Part of the advantage of never having been in an exclusive relationship is that there's no cheating involved.

11. Have you ever discovered a dead body while hiking?

Dead birds ....

12. If you ever did discover a dead body while hiking, would you take anything off the body (jewelry, loose change, sunglasses, etc)?

That would require touching the dead body. That's gross.

13. Do you ever talk to the TV?

Oh yeah. CNN gets the brunt of my ranting.

14. Does the TV ever reply?

No. The idiots continue being pathetically stupid. Such is my life.

15. What is your marital status?

Unless there's something I don't remember, I'm very much unmarried.

16. Would you recommend that status to a friend?

Sure, I guess. There's nothing inherently wrong with not being married.

17. How about to an enemy?

Definitely. My enemies don't need to procreate. They should be single and abstinent.

18. Have you ever hit a parked car and failed to leave a note?

Not that I remember.

19. Has someone done it to you?

I've had dings in my door but never any real damage.

20. Have you ever consumed an entire pie in one sitting?

Probably.

21. Name a fictional Olympic sport that you would win:

Advanced DVR races. The most shows watched in a single 24-hour period wins. Bonus points for the amount of chocolate consumed.

22. Do you believe in the death sentence?

I believe in the lethal power of the semi-colon, but so far I know of no complete sentence that has killed someone.

23. Do you believe in Santa?

Of course. He went to my church when I was a kid. Nice guy.

24. Do you believe in God?

Yes, but it's complicated.

25. Do you have neighbors you can’t stand?

I don't know my neighbors. The guy across the hall is kinda cute, though.

26. Are you the neighbor people can’t stand?

Probably.

27. In your opinion, what’s the best thing to make out of leather?
A) Furniture, B) pants, C) purses, D) “toys.”

I don't even know what "toys" means, and I try to avoid buying things made from real leather, but I'll say purses. Because I like purses.

28. Have you ever been arrested?

Nope.

29. If yes, did the charges stick?



30. If you are in a public bathroom with five stalls and someone is in stall #1 and someone else is in stall #5, which is the correct stall for you to use?

The one that is not out of toilet paper.

The cutest dog on Earth

I haven't seem my parents' dog since January (they got him at Christmas). When I visited this weekend for my best friend's wedding (more on that another day), he was thrilled to see me. He spins around in circles and jumps when he's excited, which happened every time I woke up, entered a room after being gone for more than two minutes or called his name. It was quite good for my self-esteem to have someone be that happy just because I was awake. I realize it's somewhat sad that a dog's reaction to me improved my self-worth, but it was fucking adorable.

I mean, look at this face.

Woah. Responsibility.

As if earning a master's degree and finding a job that puts me in a tax bracket that may require me to understand terms like "itemized deduction," weren't enough, I now have a VERY adult responsibility. An actual new car, with a real loan. With quite a bit of help from my grandfather (who LOVES to help people shop for cars online), who found a dealership and told me what kind of car he thought would work for me, I bought myself a brand-new Chevy Aveo (the hatchback model) And when I say new, I mean new. A comparison: When I parked at the dealership, my old car had 247,006 miles. I left in a new car that had 36 miles. The entire process was interesting, but way too time consuming.

The first car I looked at cost about $3,000 more than I wanted to pay (actually, I test-drove two, but the second one I drove was way more expensive, so I only asked seriously about one) -- in the most cliched move EVER, the salesman made a big show of writing down the price and terms on a piece of paper, then sliding it across the table to me. That's when I said "Well ... I like the look of this model better, but I'd be much happier with the number on the other model. Why don't I test drive that?" He tried to talk me out of it, but I took the other one out anyway. And I'm glad I did, because I loved it. The first car I drove, I could have lived with, but I really loved the second one.

The negotiations were also helped by my grandfather, who called me in the morning before I went to the dealership and told me about some great deal he found down in the Bay Area and he would pay cash for that car and have me pay him back, but it would have to be delivered. This was not a scenario either of us really wanted, but he suggested using it as leverage. So I did. That little game, plus my time on debate team probably helped quite a bit. I was laughing inside at how cliched the entire process was. "Well, I really want your business, and I want to take care of you, so if I can get that number down, can I get you to drive away in this car?"

When I decided on the specific car, again with the total "salesman" move, "You're going to love me," he pushes a piece of paper across the table with the price on it. I agreed to the total price and thus began THREE HOURS of waiting around to talk to the finance guy, then sitting there while he did something that eventually got me a much better APR without me having to ask for it. Quite a bit of the finance guy trying to talk me into these extra deals they have and doing a lot of "let me ask my boss if I can do this for you ..." that just seemed a little too staged in a "I'll pretend that I'm only doing this to be nice to YOU, but really, it's what I do for everyone so they'll think better of the dealership" sort of way. All of the men who helped me were very nice, though, and I would recommend the dealership. Seriously, if I do and you buy a car they'll give me $200. If you live near Seattle, ask me about it.

All things considered, though, I think I handled things very well. It was great to have my grandfather's help because he'd personally talked to the salesman before I came down and told him what I wanted/needed, and he made me promise not to buy anything without asking him if he thought the price was a good deal (he told me I did "very well" when I told him the final terms). It was awesome to have that to throw into the conversation, but I do think that I negotiated better than I thought I would. I'm quite proud of myself.

Anyway, I'm now a very happy owner of a car I like very much. I gave up on a couple of extras (AC and a stereo with an iPod hookup) to get the price I wanted, but I love the car. I must admit, though, that it's kind of sad to part with the old one. They couldn't take it as a trade-in (I didn't expect one) because it's in my parents' name and we lost the title. So they're holding on to it for me until I can find the title and donate it. Yes, it was very old and getting to be rather unreliable and scary to drive through the mountains, but I've been riding in/driving that car forever. It's an '89 that my parents got when it was about two years old. There have been many fun road trips with my dad in that car. I learned to drive in that car. All it's little quirks and the need to explain to all my friends and mechanics how to use the car really gave it some personality. I laughed at it, but really, it was a pretty good car. Driving that car was like having a friend who you disagree with about everything but keep around because fighting is so fun. I felt a little guilty driving away from it, leaving it sitting there looking so sad and alone.