Friday, August 22, 2008

Shamelessly stealing surveys

I stole this from Patrick , who got the questions from his friend. I don't know where she got them. I hope she came up with them on her own, because they're pretty great.

1. Your full name:

Jobetta Pauline Hedelman

2. What your Native American name would have been if you were in Dances With Wolves:

Watches TV with Cats

3. Your birthday:

Sept. 24

4. Name of a famous person who shares your birthday:

Jim Henson

5. What is the best thing you can do with your hands?

If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.

6. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone?

See answer to #5

7. What is an evil thing you’d like to do to someone (enemy, Tom Cruise, Accounting Dept., etc.)?

I'd like to take away all of a certain wealthy president's money, give him three little kids and force him to spend the rest of his life working two minimum-wage jobs only to find out he still can't afford health insurance for the kids and has to choose between buying food and paying the electric bill.

8. What is the stupidest movie you’ve ever seen?

Fantastic Four.

9. Have you ever cheated?

Not on anything important. But I'm sure I copied people's worksheets in middle school. Stupid busy work anyway.

10. Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope. Part of the advantage of never having been in an exclusive relationship is that there's no cheating involved.

11. Have you ever discovered a dead body while hiking?

Dead birds ....

12. If you ever did discover a dead body while hiking, would you take anything off the body (jewelry, loose change, sunglasses, etc)?

That would require touching the dead body. That's gross.

13. Do you ever talk to the TV?

Oh yeah. CNN gets the brunt of my ranting.

14. Does the TV ever reply?

No. The idiots continue being pathetically stupid. Such is my life.

15. What is your marital status?

Unless there's something I don't remember, I'm very much unmarried.

16. Would you recommend that status to a friend?

Sure, I guess. There's nothing inherently wrong with not being married.

17. How about to an enemy?

Definitely. My enemies don't need to procreate. They should be single and abstinent.

18. Have you ever hit a parked car and failed to leave a note?

Not that I remember.

19. Has someone done it to you?

I've had dings in my door but never any real damage.

20. Have you ever consumed an entire pie in one sitting?


21. Name a fictional Olympic sport that you would win:

Advanced DVR races. The most shows watched in a single 24-hour period wins. Bonus points for the amount of chocolate consumed.

22. Do you believe in the death sentence?

I believe in the lethal power of the semi-colon, but so far I know of no complete sentence that has killed someone.

23. Do you believe in Santa?

Of course. He went to my church when I was a kid. Nice guy.

24. Do you believe in God?

Yes, but it's complicated.

25. Do you have neighbors you can’t stand?

I don't know my neighbors. The guy across the hall is kinda cute, though.

26. Are you the neighbor people can’t stand?


27. In your opinion, what’s the best thing to make out of leather?
A) Furniture, B) pants, C) purses, D) “toys.”

I don't even know what "toys" means, and I try to avoid buying things made from real leather, but I'll say purses. Because I like purses.

28. Have you ever been arrested?


29. If yes, did the charges stick?

30. If you are in a public bathroom with five stalls and someone is in stall #1 and someone else is in stall #5, which is the correct stall for you to use?

The one that is not out of toilet paper.

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