Monday, December 10, 2012
Holy crap, it's been a while. I should start blogging again. I always say that, and never get around to it. It might be nice to get back into writing of some sort. Right now, I'm here because what started out as a Facebook status about insomnia got too long. Good thing I'm off work today. Awake all night again. When I went to the walk-in clinic after two nights of insomnia a couple of weeks ago, I got an Ambien prescription, but I don't want to take it more than absolutely necessary, which means work nights only. No sleep tonight. Finally got bored and got out of bed. I have an appointment with a primary care doc tomorrow, which probably won't do much short term, but I'm going to ask for a referral to go get a sleep study. At this point, I'm sure that 90% of what's keeping me from sleeping is being nervous about whether or not I'll be able to sleep, but part of it is that my brain won't wind down. It's like trying to have a conversation with a preschooler with ADD in there. I'm not stressed or depressed or anxious (except about the sleep issue) and life is actually pretty great, so I'm not worrying about anything at night, but my brain's like, "Hey! Remember this funny thing you read today? Or that thing that douche on the Internet said about politics? Or that cute puppy you saw? Oooh! We should buy a treadmill!" I just need to figure out how to make my brain turn off. I know I'm not supposed to use the computer or watch TV, but reading seems to make it worse. Any non-fiction that would teach me something is too stimulating, and anything with a plot keeps me up because I want to keep reading. I'm sick of it, though. I'll go to any kind and any number of doctors to figure out what my issue is. I thought a few days of Ambien would get my rhythm back to normal, but the problem becomes that the stupid Ambien is habit-forming. I don't know if that's what the problem was tonight, but clearly, there's an issue.