Friday, June 08, 2007

It's not a choice

For various reasons that I won't list due to pretending to be "anonymous," I've been thinking a great deal about the issue of gay marriage today. Something occurred to me that's been totally obvious, but for some reason didn't quite click until today.

A lot of people vote for George Bush just on "family values" issues. They were so afraid of gay marriage that they voted for a guy who's doing more damage to foreign relations, the environment and the economy than possibly any president in history.

Here's my "well, no shit" revelation. This entire debate comes down to whether you believe being gay is a choice. If you do not believe it's a choice, you can't believe it's a sin, and therefore would have no problem with gay marriage. It amazes me that this one simple, tiny thing that should be so logical, is causing so much trouble and so much hatred in society.

Obviously other people who read this blog have written about this, from a more personal stance than I can offer, but I'm pissed off and can't say this to the person I want to say it to, so you guys get to read it.

I have never, not once in my life, questioned whether sexual identity is a choice. First of all, I didn't get to choose to be straight, so it never made sense to suggest you could choose to be gay. Clearly, you can't.

Some will say "But I know someone who was gay and he found god and got married to a woman and has 2.3 children and a white picket fence and a dog!" I say, that doesn't mean anything. A person can choose to ignore the fact that (choose the appropriate gender identity pronoun) is gay. A person can live a lie. A person can be confused and realize later that ((choose the appropriate gender identity pronoun) really is straight. But I do not believe a person can choose to be straight or gay. I know more than one gay man who pretended to be straight and a few who are married to women now because they can't be honest about who they are, for whatever reason. This does not mean they ARE straight.

Besides, the world's overpopulated and we're using up all the natural resources, destroying the ice caps and people are dying of famine all over the world. Maybe that's nature's plan for population control. If part of the population avoids heterosexual sex, the amount of pro-creation is somewhat manageable for the poor little planet.

I grew up in a really conservative, redneck town where being gay was dangerous. A man who was out of the closet in my high school was literally risking his life. I can't imagine what the gay men I knew in high school went through (it seemed to be slightly better for gay women, but somehow I doubt it really was). Why on earth would those guys have chosen that life if they had any option? Seriously. They were out of the closet because living a lie was harder than risking the wrath of the assholes we went to school with, but it wasn't pleasant.

It just blows my mind that people are so afraid of something that shouldn't matter. Why would anyone be bothered by who other people love? (If for some reason, you are reading this and you are the type of person who's going to give me the bullshit "what if I wanted to marry my dog/a child/my hummer" argument, we're never going to agree with one another, and you're an idiot.)

As far as I'm concerned, the more love in this world the better. I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with people who love each other enough to commit for their entire lives. It all comes down to this: homosexuality isn't a sin because it's not a choice. I be live in God but refuse to believe he would condemn people for being who they are, for something they do not control. It just isn't a sin. I have never heard a single argument against gay marriage that doesn't surround "The BIBLE SAYS...." I know what the Bible says. But I don't interpret it the same way.

So, to those people I really want to say this to: If you accept that being gay is not a choice, you'll see that it can't be a sin and will have to accept that there's no reason gay people shouldn't be married. Get over it. Who other people love/fuck has nothing to do with you, and allowing totally equality for every human being, including the right to marry, can only make the world a better place.

Get off your high horse, out of people's business and start thinking about other things. Like, how many people died in Darfur today? How are we going to fix the ice caps? How can we ensure our great-grandchildren have enough natural resources to enjoy the earth and not walk around in environment-protection suits and gas masks? How will we end war and feed the hungry and cure AIDS?


Mr. Burns said...

I think Abortion was the other one that got the Conservative base pulling for Dubya.

It's amazing how people will look the other way when someone steals their money, but give two dudes the right to kiss eachother, and hoo boy, they'll get downright pissed off.

There's a great book you might consider reading... if you haven't already: It's called What's The Matter With Kansas? Definitely a good read.

Thought Criminal said...

You're right about abortion. Apparently what happens in my uterus is WAY more important than what happens in Iraq.

The babies we kill with bombs are "collateral damage," but babies in-utero (How do you spell that?), are sacred beings who deserve a full life and killing them is a sin.... explain the logic there.

"What's the Matter with Kansas" is high up on my ever-expanding list of books. Maybe I'll pick it up in the airport for one of my flights. Pull it out of my bag as we fly over the Midwest.

Kat said...

A couple things....
1) I totally 100% agree. Here's the clincher...under most Christian religions, we are ALL sinners, because we can never be perfect in the eyes of the lord, right? Yet they for some reason spend all this time hating on gay people for living a "sinful lifestyle".

2)Re: the abortion issue. Again I find it ironic, that it's the "conservatives" who (according to definition) "want little interference from the government," are the first ones out there trying to legislate their pro-life agenda.

Actually, the same could be said for gay marriage...Except apparently "God Hates Fags," so maybe it doesn't count.

chris said...

Whoa. As far as gay marriage goes, I pretty much agree with what you've said here. It especially irks me when people who oppose gay marriage refer to their position as either the defense or protection of marriage, because you know, those gay people would really muddy up our marital you-can-go-to-vegas-and-get-married--in-a-drive-thru-by-Elvis-and-witnessed-by-Marilyn Monroe-waters.

My position on gay marriage stems from my simple principle that if I, as a law-abiding american citizen of a certain legal age have a certain right, so should every other american citizen that fits that criteria.

That said, I disagree with your (and the commenter's) comparisons to abortion, but I really don't feel like picking a fight today. ;)